MA! THE MEATLOAF!!

Today, I'm going to share my Ma's Meatloaf with all you nice people.
It's another concoction in which she often stealth-fed us things we'd normally not eat.

I won't do that to you guys, it'll just be straight up meaty goodness,
which is also highly customizable to your tastes and moods!
Yes, I called you "guys."

 I have no doubt that Mr. President would not be pleased with my behaviors
(not that I'm too concerned with his opinions)
I plan on being that outdated Aunt who still uses male pronouns as non-gender-specific,
and all my young relatives will just sigh and let it go because my ways are antiquated.

Let's put my stubborn habits aside for now, as we're not here to talk grammar.
We're here to talk bidness.
This bidness.
 
Ma's Meatloaf

The Shit List
More specifically, the basic Shit List

• 1 pound of ground beef
• 3/4 tube of crackers - saltines, Ritz, anything dry and salty, you could do 1 cup breadcrumbs instead
• 1 large egg
• 1 1/2 tablespoons worchestershire sauce
• ketchup. lots of ketchup (okay really just like, 1/3 cup for the mix)
• 1 small chopped onion or 2/3 cup dried minced onions
• 3 tablespoons season all
• black pepper (a few dashes or cranks will do)

How to Handle That Shit

1.  Throw all that shit into a bowl, and pulverize the fuck out of it. I mean get your hands all up in that business and mash it up like a 3 year old with play-doh.
2. Once said shit is mashed into an evenly spread consistency, beat it into conformist submission into a greased loaf pan or an 8x8 cake pan. I like the loaf for easier serving, and it tends to keep moist better.
3. Put that bitch in the oven at 350F for 50 minutes, then whip it out for more abuse.
4. When we take it out at this point, you're going to drain off any excess fatty juices and are either going to smother it with ketchup, or blanket it in gravy made with said fatty juices, which I'll explain in the customizing section.
5. Once shamed into hiding by your choice of gravy topping, hide it in the oven at 350F for another 20-30 minutes to cook the topping in and finish the meat. The lee-way in times is something you'll have to figure out by trial and error with your oven and fat content of your meat. Most of the time if you go for 20 and it isn't long enough, it will still be safely cooked for eating.

Extra Shit to Make It Special

•  Ground beef can be any fat percentage you like, just realize that means a lot of fat to drain off in step #4 and make peace with that.
• Ground beef is not required, and can be easily replaced with turkey, chicken, or even tofu. These options, while healthier, are drier, which means you need to balance it out with extra wet. The best way to do this without changing flavors is to dial down your crackers to 1/4 tube (1/3 cup breadcrumbs). Adding extra ketchup and worchestershire is another way to go, but that may become overpowering.
• Your onion can be any onion depending on what you like. Want to taste it? Go for red, it's powerful, and lends itself to more sweet and BBQ flavors well. Just want an accent? Then go for white or yellow. It's mostly there to make your savory flavors and seasonings pop better, so really it's about knowing what you like, and how you want your meatloaf to taste. Shit, you could even go for green onions or shallots, and replace your ketchup/worchestershire with ranch dip! (I just turned myself on a little.) I imagine doing french onion dip instead of gravy would make a whole different loaf.

Dat Gravy

If you're going the ketchup route, just slather it on to fully cover the top and call it a day.

For gravy-gravy, I often cheat and use a powdered mix, throwing in the drippings for an extra oomph.

If you're comfortable making a roux, go for it, as it is also really delicious.

I also tend to saute some mushrooms and throw em on top with the gravy too, as husband likes it.

That's all there is to it!