Clear the Fuckin P-way!

I had a problem. A big one. Mostly my bulbous body, but also this poorly placed door in my hallway. It's for the "coat closet", but this is freaking SoCal. We don't need no stinking coats!

Our coat closet is a dog care staging station, filled with treats, toys, food, and other dog things. It's nice, because we do cook some "people" food for them to add to their kibble. Nice location for convenience, without grossing out potential guests with dog food in the kitchen.

Now to the inconvenient part of it.

This whole setup is just ridiculously inconvenient, regardless of ass size. It blocks the bathroom, as well as the path to the front door. If this is supposed to be a coat closet, and the majority of the rooms are down the hall, it just doesn't make sense to have this door here!

Off to Lowe's I went. While I was there, did I get the giant-ass lumber cart for big things? 

Hell no!

I of course opted for the standard cart, and put my adorable purple purse in the babybutt spot for convenience, with the straps flipped over the back of the seat. I picked up the door kit, and balanced the tall fucker over the seat-back, not considering my poor purse's plight in the process. I get to checkout, and pull my purse out.

It was epic.

That door pulled a Charlie Brown and landed right on my skull! Made my eyes water and everything, like the dumb bitch I was.Luckily, the door assistant offered to help my idiot self put the thing in my car before I hurt anyone else, and mostly myself.

It was time to whip out the mo' fuggin power tools, aw yiss.

 

There was only one time the directions hurt more than they helped.

I had to figure out how to put that bitch on the track by myself. 

By "myself", I mean I called Husband in to listen to me bitch for twenty minutes, then ask him for help, which really means just take my abuse until I have an epiphany. He's a patient guy, but then he always plays the long game, and my fits of rage always end up benefiting him in the form of baked treats or bootyful adventures. He wins at marriage.

And thus, after many a trial and tribulation, it was done.

I think it came off beautifully. The kit had a little wooden knob, but God-forbid I settle for less than perfection!! I'm currently on the hunt for inspiration to decide on whether knobs or handles will finish this baby off.

For those of you who might not know, P-way is short for passageway. Yeah.