Why Won't You Breathe!?

I don't know about you guys,

but I really, really like breathing.

It feels good to deliver oxygen to my body

and exhale some nastiness into the air.

Breathing seems to help check for halitosis too.

Unfortunately, I've inherited asthma from my mom,

so breathing is a little more difficult than it should be.

Some of you in This Fuckin House may not know how asthma works,

so let me push my glasses up and 'splain you.

Yeah, you're learning shit today!

If you want technical, nancy-boy language,

just skip until the Dr. Pepper image after checking out this link.

If you want a super cool explanation with pretty pictures

and funny words, you're in the right place!

Asthma isn't too complicated.

Basically, it's your lungs saying, 

"I hate you and everything you do. Now die a slow death!"

The reaction known as an asthma attack, or "bronchospams,"

is the process of mucus buildup and inflammation

reducing the available space in your lungs for oxygen, 

which in turn makes your body pretty angry.

Most people experience gasping, short breaths

and ridiculous chest, shoulder, and/or back pain.

That's from your body saying, "FUCK! AIR!! WE NEED AIR,"

and trying it's damndest to get it.

If untreated, the attack can actually kill the poor person,

since, you know, we need to breathe to live.

Luckily, modern medicine has made this fatal problem

treatable with prevention and rescue medications.

Click this bad boy to see the details.

Preventative medications are usually 

a daily maintenance treatment using

slow-acting, long-lasting, bronchodilating steroids.

"Anna, slow down with your multi-syllabic nerd words!"

"What in the ham sandwich is 'bronchodilation'?"

Be calm, friends.

"Bronchodilator" is just a snooty latin-based word for

"Opens up ya lungs."

When preventative medications aren't enough,

we have to resort to "rescue" medications,

which are just fast-acting lung openers.

 These guys are quick, and don't last long (like your boyfriend, HIYO),

which is part of why they shouldn't be used regularly.

Also, as powerful stimulants, overuse can wreak havoc

on your already taxed body.

Some people, especially children or the elderly,

use nebulizers to help them take these medications,

since they struggle to use the fast inhalation puffs.

Common things that can cause asthma are:

allergen exposure, "still" air, and smoke.

Some people have issues with cardio exercise,

but most cases of well-managed asthma don't have this issue.

Obviously, staying away from these things is the best prevention.

Don't eat or mess around in things you're allergic to.

Try to keep the air around you well-circulated,

by this I mean the unmoving, "still" air found in high humidity areas.

It goes without saying to not smoke, 

but living with an indoor smoker is a bad idea too.

Certain medications can affect asthma as well, but as long as your doctor is a real doctor, and not a doctor like Dr. Pepper, then you have nothing to worry about there.

So, while being an asthmatic can suck, it can also really not suck if managed properly.

Being stuck inside for the Winter with dogs makes this challenging, but makes me all the more grateful for the medications available.

Husband's understanding and adjustments definitely help too. He's an old fashioned, stubborn smoker, which is his choice since he has big boy undies and all.

Since learning of my issues with smoke, he's bumped up the quality of our A/C filter, purchased air purifiers,

and for the most part has opted to smoke in the garage.

With each deep breath I take in without struggle, I smile, glad to be able to because of all these things.