Tales of a Cookie Crumbled

This post is actually a deviation from this recipe post. If you can't take this heat, get out of the post, abort!!! 

I actually discovered and perfected Nestle's recipe for chocolate chip cookies in high school. Had I been a little more entrepreneurial, I could have made a living off those. Any time there was a pot luck or birthday, people asked for Anna's cookies.

I've since learned it's an incredible tool for bargaining,brown-nosing, and most of the time, apologizing. I've made almost 15 batches in the last three weeks, trying to reconcile the bitchy, untreated insanity I had unleashed on Husband for many months.

He put up with me like a trooper, thinking I was just cranky from my knee pain.What the poor man didn't know is he was combating an untreated case of OCPD-induced anxiety. I've mentioned before that I really have been diagnosed in the past, but had managed my rituals pretty well with behavioral therapy.

 Husband and I worked well together on my compulsions, as I had learned to channel most of it into catharsis. I am really lucky most of my rituals look relatively normal. It's pretty nice, except the day Stanley gave me panic attacks.

Dry heaving and sobs were had that day. My imagination went to horrible places, knowing he was in the house, potentially doing some unknown horrors to my private spaces. Thank God for understanding friends (sort of).

With my life going the way it has this last year, as many of you have seen in this post as well as this other post, things have gotten much more difficult to handle, which made an otherwise manageable condition impossible to handle.

I  finally sought medical help when I started just hiding in bed all day, terrified to face all of the things out of my control. I've only been on treatment for a couple weeks now,  but already there's been marked improvement.

It's nice to be calm.

Since regaining small bits of normalcy in my demeanor, I've made many homages to Husband's incredible patience with me. And thus, we've come full circle back to my lovely cookies. Hope you enjoyed the ride!