It all started when my sister came over to help me clean and pack...
I invited this particular sibling over because she has a special set of skills I required.
She's got a gift for massage and joint adjustments. I can't count how many times she's given me relief in my back and hips over the years. We all hope she'll go to school and get some sort of license or degree in that field. I guarantee she'd be successful.
Unfortunately, some of the moves she puts on my leg to ease my hip pain are somewhat... provocative if you're observing it from the outside. So, of course, Husband had to walk in as she's on top of me, spreading my legs to stretch the groin, and I'm moaning from both pain and relief.
"This isn't what it looks like!" she yelled, half joking. He just ignored the situation, asked me a question about something, and left, shaking his head and most likely grumbling something to the effect of, "Damn Kedrowskis..."
Then, after beating me into submission, she coerced me into folding my laundry straight out of the dryer like some kind of SS Nazi. I mean, come on, you have to leave it in the dryer/return basket at least two days before even considering putting it away.
So, in the efficiency that I have handed down through my siblings, we opted to pack while folding because, well, it just makes sense! We sorted things out, putting some away and packing others, when it occurred to me that I needed my dogs' shot records for their sitter. I looked and looked, to no avail, so Husband contacted the vet to see if we could get a new copy. It turns out we had somehow overlooked their updates, and were behind on their shots. This was inconvenient, but luckily we only had to walk in for shots.
The car was promptly loaded with my behemoth shepherds, and off we went. For the first time, Delmira wasn't terrified for her life. She just sat perched in her seat, watching the world go by out her window. Blitz, on the other hand, was the panicky one, crying for almost the entire ride, save for when she would comically thrust her face out the window and into the wind. It was a unique drive, which eventually ended, after their shots, at the kennel, where Blitz almost dragged my sister off her feet in excitement. They like the kennel.
I pulled myself together and tried not to cry over leaving my bitches behind as we headed to Target for some last minute items. As always with my sister, we had adventures. I've mentioned before how much I resemble Jennifer Lawrence, and been mistaken for her. Today my sister got to feel that feel, as a woman stopped us in the store to revel in her likeness to Emma from Once Upon a Time. Apparently this was her first time having this happen, and I ended up doing all the talking for her as she stood flabbergasted at the compliment. I really should blog our Target trips more; there's never a dull moment between us.
After all of that, not only were my sister and I hungry, but Husband was too. He called and put in a request for some Taco Bell, and another adventure was started.
We were pretty tired after an eventful day. I was pretty bad off, considering most days I hardly leave my bed, so when we got to the drive thru, I needed a minute to gather my thoughts before I ordered. The usual script played out,
"Welcome to Taco Bell, how are you this evening?"
"Oh, um, I'm actually pretty great! I need a minute though..."
"Uuuhhh, do you... Do you need help reading the menu?"
"OH, no. No. I... Can I get... uuuuuuh..."
My sister had failed to share her order, so not only was I lost, but now I sounded like the archetypal stoner. Did she help? No. Bitch just sat there and soaked in the silliness, laughing quietly at my struggle.
I finally rattled off our sizeable order, which was probably enough to feed the three of us twice over, and we giggled our way to the window.
We had a moment again when the cashier asked if we wanted sauce, and I did the "uuhm" dance again as I looked back and forth between my sister and him. More laughter was had at my expense, and we were on our way home.
After all of this adventure, we got to sit down and eat some tacos before my sister went to work on my leg for a minute, soothing the ache of being on foot all day. Sam, as expected, was incredibly jealous and protective, which is hilarious coming from a fifteen pound dog who's really more of a cat. Not intimidating in the slightest.
The most important thing that happened this day, above all of these accomplishments, was the coup de gras - MOFUGGIN CAKE.
I've been a little fixated on cake lately, to the point that my musings about all its delicious ways drove my sister and Husband to exasperatedly silence me. Apparently if I love cake this much, I should marry it.
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