Trick or Treat, If You Dare!

This post is a two day affair!

Leave a comment whether you want a trick or treat, and I will reply with your request.

Will it be what you hope!?

I can only promise to try my best to shock the shit out of you with replies tomorrow!

Also, I'll add some photos from tonight's affairs when I come back.

An Almost Pointless Point To Point Out

First of all, I think it's hilarious that my page views across today made cat ears.

Also, 7pm seems to be a popular time to check out my situation; I'll have to keep that in mind.

Dat Riker

I like getting good news, especially good news I can work with.

Unfortunately in life, we just don't always get to have good news.

Sometimes, the bread falls buttered side down,

and then we're sad for a bit,

because well, it's messy, and now your toast is presumably inedible.

In my life, though, it seems whenever I "drop the toast,"

it's because when I go to pick it up I find something more important,
or learn something that will help me later.

Like maybe,

don't put spread on your fucking toast in midair 

when you have a perfectly fucking stable counter you could do it on, 

and you could NOT ruin your damned breakfast!

Or you know, something along those lines.

I have strong feelings about my breakfast.

 

Courtesy of Thug Kitchen, My Muse

My highly metaphorical, fully digressed-from point is,

don't let little shit like that get you down.

You never know what could happen from that messed up slice.

You could see some mold or something you didn't notice,

or that almost fireball of lint clogging your fridge vents,

or that dog toy under the oven that was missing for months.

Dog toys are important.

Eli can tell you all about it.

He's my brother and wife's majestic beast, and he smiles a lot.

I'd bet all of Eli's toast is always awesome all the times,

because dogs like all the toast.

Confucius Say, Calm Your Tits

I had to manufacture a reason to show you all that silliness.

We're actually not talking boobies today, but overachieving.

 

"To go beyond is as wrong as to fall short."

I suppose Confucius could mean a lot of things by this quote.

Most popular interpretations seem to be that you should be succinct, and to the point. 

You know, like you shouldn’t ramble on and on about something?

You need to calm your tits with that enthusiasm and stick to the basics.

You should just create a simple, straightforward result.

Really it’s a clever way of saying be efficient. You don’t have to be redundant or over-explain things, 

just get them done the way they were asked to be done, not more, not less, just what was asked, 

and be direct about it. Don’t be like Mojo Jo Jo, just repeating yourself in different sentence structures 

while still getting the same point across. Who needs a dissertation when a few paragraphs will do?

Okay enough fuckery, haha.

When I first read that quote I was actually kind of confused, 

especially after growing up in what is supposed to be a capitalist meritocracy. 

I was always taught to go the extra mile, with everything.

Then, with more thought, it occurred to me that this could very easily apply to jokes, especially the dirty ones. 

Back in my maiden days, my brother and I had started forming a reputation for being the

“One Too Far Kedrowskis.”

I’m pretty sure he is maintaining that title fine without me, as I’ve become “Extra Mile Anna.”

When we’re with the “wrong” crowd, or really just each other, we can’t stop at just "haha," 

we have to go for full tilt, guilt-inducing laughter.

Usually this means creating some sort of disgusting double entendre 

or disturbing mental image at the expense of the original joke maker.

We are a pun’s worst enemy.

So in this sense, yes Confucius, going too far is worse than falling short.

You win, this time.

When It Won't Do It Itself, MAKE It Fall Into Place!

Things rarely ever fall into place well when I am involved.

I just overthink things and try too hard sometimes, so whatever I'm trying to do just sort of flops.

Luckily since becoming a homeowner, 

I've come to adopt my father's penchant for flipping mistakes into magic.

That man has this amazing skill for taking broken or failed household projects, 

and morphing them into some adaptation that in the end looks completely planned and beautiful.

He recently tore out a section of cabinets in his kitchen 

and covered the damaged wall they were attached to with wainscoting. 

The style and finish is so on point, people who had never seen the original floor plan 

thought that the wall had always been like that!

I personally applied this "tool" myself when revamping the laundry room.

Better than half of the things you saw in the end result were not even kind of planned,

but it looked awesome right?

For those who don't remember, you can see the laundry post here:

Let's Get Dirty Before We Get Clean!

I think this is one aspect of my life that I've really started to develop patience for.

Almost anytime a DIY project goes wrong, of course there's the obligatory 5 minutes of expletives,

but then I walk away and come back with a fresh, inspired mind to flip it around into success!

When is a time things didn't fall into place and you flipped it around?

It's Forever Halloween in Here

I particularly enjoy this end of the year because all of the holidays means lots of fun decorating.

I didn't realize that I would one day be domestic, 

caring enough about my home to go all Martha Stewart on it every month, but I do, I really do.

I make Dino a desk buddy every October.

The only thing holding me back these days is my non-existent income.

Surely, if I get creative enough, I have plenty of supplies already here to make pretty things.

Candy corn toes; I'm getting better at this!

Right now, obviously, I've got Halloween going on, 

which isn't much effort since every day in the Duet home is Halloween.

Seriously, it's dark, cold, dusty, and the house is forever making funny noises.

If my sunshiney self wasn't in it, anyone who visited would be convinced they were in a horror movie.

I'll even share some photos of all the ghoulish, creepy, and sometimes even cute things lurking in my home.

Our guest bath facing the front yard.
They glow in the dark!

Elvira chills in our bar/dining room

 

The guy is on an end table in our living room.

This is at the end of our hallway.
It regularly scares the crap out of people going to the bathroom.

Just a glimpse of The Dungeon Game Room

There are a lot more dungeon-ey, Halloween type things in the Dungeon, 

but I can't really photograph them and share them here without compromising the security of our home. 

Also, it's just really, really dark back there and difficult to get a good exposure. 

Just imagine a den, filled with wall-to-wall skeletons in different art mediums, and you'll have an idea what it looks like.

PSA for LakeLA, Seriously

I need to take a post and interrupt my normally entertaining story-telling for some shit that is way, way,
fucking way more important than anything I have ever posted.

Christopher Hubbart is scheduled to move to 17132 Laredo Vista Avenue this December.

That is two blocks from my house.
This man is a repeat offender, a serial rapist that has proven he is beyond rehabilitation.

http://theavtimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Hubbart-History.pdf

I am not okay with this, and no one should be. 

He needs to stay institutionalized indefinitely, as he has more than proven he is a threat to society. 
Please help me make this explicitly clear to the powers that be -

Until Nov. 29, the public can submit written comments by emailing HubbartLASafetyTaskForce@da.lacounty.gov.

Comments can also be mailed to this address:

Hubbart L.A. Safety Task Force
c/o District Attorney’s Office Sex Crimes Division
320 West Temple Street, Room 777
Los Angeles, CA 90012

Judge Brown will hold a public hearing on Dec. 4 in San Jose on Hubbart’s proposed residence.

Anyone who wishes to address the judge directly will be allowed to speak at the hearing in

Santa Clara County Court, Department 32, 190 W. Hedding Street, Fourth Floor.

We Have To Go Back!

I, like most people, much prefer to fall back when it comes time to move our clocks.

I mean, it gives the illusion of an extra hour, and who doesn’t want more time?

Now with life, I am all about springing forward.

Husband is quite the opposite, and revels in dwelling on the past.

I don’t mean in a way like people who glorify their high school days, 

he’s just really into history and how much has changed since his childhood.

The man is little addicted to nostalgia.

I sometimes tease him by calling him the poster-child of Hipsterism, and he takes it well.

This is another part of how we, as opposites work so well together though.

For as often as he is engrossed in the past, I am constantly pushing towards the future.

I always have plans and next steps and “somedays” going on.

It’s almost an attitude of “nothing is enough,” but less about greed and more about improving through change.

Until recently, as many can see on my facebook, I have always hated reflecting on my past.

I’m not going to pretend my childhood was terrible or anything, but like any adult, when you look back on things you didn’t understand at the time, you’re sometimes shocked by the truth of what really happened.

It’s not like I killed a man and want to repress it,

I just genuinely believe there was nothing but bad news and awkward moments in my life to revisit.

I’ve had a slight change of heart since reviewing some of our baby books, 

and sharing how far we’ve come with the people still in my life.

Especially my brother and my coz.

It’s crazy how different we’ve become, and yet how much we’ve stayed the same.

Bro and I aren’t really trying to kill each other anymore, so that’s nice.

 

My Coz and I have pretty much stayed the same, 

only getting closer in the wake of insanity we’ve faced over the years.

They’re both great people, 

and while I hope we all find each other still together when we spring forward to our futures, 

they make it not so bad to fall back and remember our pasts.