*Crickets*

"Leave your readers this month with commentary about their comments."

But in all seriousness you all have been great. I got quite a few supportive comments, and I always appreciate the feedback. Keep being you, nice people.

July NaBloPoMo

 This month will be simultaneously peppered with on the road posts as I travel across the country to see my future nephew/niece into the world. It should be a fun one, as I look into the future I'll also be delving into the past with this month's prompts.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014
This summer is BlogHer's 10th anniversary! Tell us something YOU have been doing for ten straight years.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Do you think of a decade as a short or long period of time? (Is the century a 10th full or a 10th empty!)

Thursday, July 3, 2014
What do you think you will be doing 10 years from now?

Friday, July 4, 2014
Happy 4th of July if you live in the US. Tell us your 10 favourite things about summer.

Monday, July 7, 2014
Which former decade do you wish you could time travel and visit? Why?

Tuesday, July 8, 2014
We had the Roaring 20s, the Swinging 60s, and the 80s Decade of Decadence. Which decade best fits your personality?

Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Do you like to read historical fiction? Tell us about your favourite book not set in the contemporary period.

Thursday, July 10, 2014
Do you think you were born in the "right" decade, or do you feel like you belong to a different time period?

Friday, July 11, 2014
How do you think we'll define this decade when we look back at it in the future? What descriptive term will we use to name 2010 - 2019?

Monday, July 14, 2014
One of the themes of BlogHer '14 is Selfiebration, so show us 10 pictures of yourself (or someone/someplace you love) from the past decade.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Kerry Washington is speaking at the conference next week. What do you think has been the biggest scandal so far in this decade?

Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Tell us 10 people you would declare the 10 most important people in the world so far this decade.

Thursday, July 17, 2014
Tell us what you think blogging and social media will look like 10 years from now. Will wearable technology change the way we tell our story?

Friday, July 18, 2014
Do you think we'll be spending more time, less time, or the same amount of time online a decade from now?

Monday, July 21, 2014
Are you going to the conference this week? Tell us 10 bloggers you're excited to meet or 10 things you're excited to do.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014
What are 10 things you pack whenever you travel?

Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Tell us 10 things you love about blogging.

Thursday, July 24, 2014
At the conference and pressed for time? Blog in bullet points: tell us 10 things about your day.

Friday, July 25, 2014
Tell the story of your day with 10 images.

Monday, July 28, 2014
Tell us about 10 inventions or pieces of technology that enhance your life.

Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Do you think Tony Robbins was correct when he said that "most people overestimate what they can accomplish in a year - and underestimate what they can achieve in a decade!"

Wednesday, July 30, 2014
What has been your best decade thus far: Your teens? Your twenties? Your thirties or forties or beyond?

Thursday, July 31, 2014
Tell us about 10 important personal events from your life from the last 10 years.

I'm A Sex Zombie

I stumbled across this image and quote while out in the wild internet this week.

"If only you could see WHO you were letting in your bed as a single woman/man.. I'm confident they wouldn't make it past hello. Remember, this fight is spiritual, not physical."

As someone who considers themselves sex-positive, I couldn't recoil away from my screen fast enough.
I mean, really? A person is a disgusting and diseased zombie on the inside because they enjoy consensual sex?

I understand the concerns surrounding pre-marital sex; STD risks, consent issues, pregnancy, and the slew of emotional backlash that can occur. All of these issues could occur if both parties are not practicing safe, consensual sex. If they are, then this nasty, judgmental picture is moot - which is in most cases for adults.

It's hard not to feel personally attacked by imagery like this, especially when the comments on this were all affirming its validity whether with Christian rhetoric or just personal disgust with sex.

I ask of you, outside of your religious stance, what is so wrong with sex for pleasure?

I Say What I Want

Freedom of speech is awesome.
I'm an independent American who don't need no government telling me what I can and cannot say!

With that in mind, I get really frustrated with people who hide behind freedom of speech as an excuse to have freedom from consequences. Sure, the government can't censor you, but that doesn't change the resulting reactions of fellow citizens. Are you being a douche-nozzle? You still deserve to be treated like one, although the government can't punish you for it.

Ignorance and ugly words aside, I think it's important to feel safe speaking your mind. I'm sure I say things on here that are disagreeable from time to time, and luckily haven't had much backlash for it. It's comforting to know I can say the things I do without risking my page being shut down.

And Now I Guess She's On Crack

I like to think I uphold the idea of "live and let live" pretty well. Experience has taught me that meddling in the lives of others, or worse, gossiping about them, never works out positively.

Usually it would end with me being told off for not having all the facts of the situation, for being nosy, or end up getting called bossy. No one likes that feeling.

So basically unless I've been solicited for input or advice, I just keep my sizable Polish honker out of the affairs of others - no matter how tempting an internet lynch mob may be.

Dear Kitten

Another unusable prompt for today is good news for you nice people.
We don't have television service of any kind at This Fuckin' House, so I missed out on this gem for entirely too long until my sisters shared it with me. It's a commercial for cat food, but that is almost not relevant because VA-KOOM.

Good Job

I am generally guilty of being a nice reviewer. In all of my written reviews thus far, only two were completely without kindness. They were both for motels, which both had a plethora of disgusting going on. They deserved all my kitty rage.

Other than that, I lean on the generous. With most food places, I'll give three stars out of five if they get my order right, don't poison me, and aren't directly impolite. Any additional stars usually get added with customer service skills. If the staff handle a crisis or difficult situation well, or if they are particularly friendly and accommodating, I will say so.

Having served my time in the food industry, I know how much it can suck, and how rarely you ever hear when you did well. If I don't get a chance to say so in person, it always makes me feel better to put it in a review.

I Point My Thumb At You

Reviews are to be taken with a grain of salt.
Usually with something that has more than twenty reviews, it's pretty sensible to go with the majority rule. If they say the thing sucks, it probably does.

When it's fewer numbers of reviews, I get a little more skeptical about the individuals.
Are they always a Negative Nancy, complaining about dumb things like being closed on Christmas, or breaking when not being used for the intended purpose? Well then fuck your opinion, anonymous guy, you suck, not the thing you're reviewing.

I'm starting to really enjoy Yelp for that feature, in which I can backtrack a user and see how they rate other places I may have been, or if they're a biased writer across the board. Some people are super lenient, giving five stars to any place that doesn't give them food poisoning, while other reviewers give everyone two stars who didn't wipe their ass for them after receiving their spa manicure.

I've been enjoying my ventures on the app, especially with our road trips this year. Reviews have definitely helped with finding hotels that are hepatitis free, as well as where to eat without getting ripped off. I like to think I've contributed to the traveling world with my own tips and warnings on fattyduet.yelp.com.

Check it out, and add me so we can swap noms!

Fleeting Blah

I discovered Frosty on Tumblr last week.

I had saved a post about him in my drafts for a weekend post, thinking I had time before this little fluff of joy went viral. Then this week, I heard the most terrible news. Little buddy passed away.

Husband is usually  the one with a soft spot for goats, but dammit this little one was so damned cute! The medical nerd in me just cooed over his resilience.

Now as soon as I start to follow the kid (yeah, a pun) after three short months of life, he's taken down by infections throughout the same spine his team was working to repair.

Props and peace to you, Frosty, advancing the veterinary field, bringing attention to an epic non-profit, and just being an adorable little trooper.

I'll be hitting the kleenex now, but if you'd like to learn more about the team and foundation that helped Frosty and other critters, check out Edger's Mission.

Unwelcome Guests

I've had a couple of hoopla days this week. Say that word a lot, it gets funnier each time.

As many of my Facebook friends know, there's been a bit of an issue at This Fuckin' House. We've been covertly infiltrated by cockroaches, who are now being less covert. Arrogant little bastards...

Because of this discovery, my anxiety is pretty much through the roof. I'm in this constant state of overwhelmed, disgusted, and homicidal. I literally cannot sleep. At best, I'm awake most of the night and then black out for 2-3 hours. It's not pretty.

On top of that, I want to scourge the earth with bleach and hammers, destroying anything even resembling pestilence. I managed to power through one day of scrubbing down my bedroom, hall, and bathroom into a sort of quarantined safe place. Unfortunately in my continued quest to clean, I discovered another nightmare.

Yaaaaay, mold! This is under my kitchen sink, in the cabinets I didn't want to tamper with until we had finished the cumbersome bathroom project - still TBA. Pretty sure this moisture build-up is what drew those little fuckers in, and tonight we saw one dive into the corner of a cabinet and disappear either underneath or into the walls. Ew.

This whole endeavor has made the Lizard Incident last year seem so silly in comparison. As a matter of fact, I would welcome that noisy fucker with open arms right now if he would handle this roach situation. I would so not care. I'd even make him a nice toasty lizardy abode in the pots drawer under my oven for him to chill in safety. That little guy was so damned considerate, never underfoot, didn't try to steal my noms, and even had a designated potty spot that couple nights he hid indoors. Stanley, if you can read, please come home!

#YesAllWomen

 Out of the few lengthy comments I've gotten, this one is definitely the most controversial in my mind, and further solidifies my opinions on the subject. "Anonymous" shared his opinion on my post, Bad Touch, and more or less explained how everything I had just said was absolutely wrong., because penises.

"Well, from a guy's perspective, if you are dressed like a "ghetto slut" then you are in a way asking for it. It is not entirely the guy's fault, being that we are conditioned over many years of watching rap videos how it is okay to go for a chic that is showing off her goods. It's like saying you are "open for business" and that turns on a lot of guys. Not saying that you do that, just saying that is what goes on in a guy's head."

How does that even make sense? First of all, whoever "he" is felt the need to stay anonymous, which leads me to believe he expected backlash, and maybe even knew his logic was flawed.
"Ghetto slut?" What the fuck is that even supposed to mean, and how does that, in any way, change a person's safety and consent? I could walk down the street butt-ass naked, and I still am not implying consent to anyone to touch me. Ask first, touch after!

Then, he goes on to try and speak for all men and their inability to control themselves in the face of a woman's body. Really? Since when does genitalia affect the ability of someone to keep their hands to themselves?  I rarely see a woman get grabby when faced with a man looking particularly good, and I know I've seen that behavior in mainstream media as well.

Furthermore, since when do "rap videos" dictate social behaviors? Are you seriously telling me that Ludacris or whoever is popular these days is the primary influence on the occurrences of objectification of women? Don't get me wrong, popular music has it's role to answer for, but the problem is much, much greater than the Top 40.
It's this forever resistant transition from the puritanical ways of patriarchal society in which the husband supports and runs things, to the closing gap in economic gender equality. We had the "sexual revolution," which did set a stage for change, but have yet to have the social revolution. Too many homes are still raising their children to believe a woman is only respected as the possession of a man (father, then husband), her body (virginity) is her value and she is solely in charge of maintaining that.

This sort of entitled, almost primal thinking is exactly the problem I face every time I leave my house. For starters, it never matters how I've dressed. I could wear a bee-suit and it's still bound to happen if I cross paths with one of these deviants. I don't deserve sexual assault. No one deserves that, no matter what they wear or how they look.However, the kind of people that behave this way don't think like that. They aren't looking for someone deserving or "asking for it;" they're looking for their thrill. These people don't see their victims as individuals. They're just objects to be used for their enjoyment.

This is the core of my problem. Women are still commodities in many upbringings, something to be had, and to be used. Why is this still happening? Why are we still being seen as items? This is why my body says, "Touch Me," to you, because you're looking at me as a product on the shelf. You are part of the problem, Anonymous.

She's A Smart Kitty

So far the best advice I've received was nestled in the same comforting comment I mentioned a couple posts ago.

It just really drove home that my personal pity party can only last so long, or at least needs to occur in controlled bursts. The world is going to keep turning even if my life is on hold, so I might as well find a way to make the most of my stalled time.

Since that comment, I have repaired and adjusted some hobbies (Pokemon and Pinball), read some books and added more to the list, tried to put more into this blog, and mostly just sucked it up to power through the pain and keep experiencing family and events.

I suppose I could be doing more, but with being out of town almost every other month it's hard to commit to anything. Husband suggested I take on a side mission; re-learn piano well enough to do Midnight Sonata. It's a pretty uncomplicated piece, but I haven't touched a piano in over eight years, so it's still a challenge.

Word is that YouTube offers a lot of tutoring channels for instruments, have any of you nice people found a channel you like or worked for you? Link me in the comments below and help me on my quest!!

When Comments Turn Blog

As some of you may have guessed, I am a frequenter of Reddit. I mostly poke around there as a source of entertainment, but occasionally I feel a need to contribute. More than once have I written a lengthy comment on there and thought, "Man this would be great as a blog post!"

Most recently was the thread surrounding an image discussing consent, which I didn't really go into deep discussion on, but instead sort of Cliff's noted my feelings.

Check it out, add to the discussion, and/or let me know if you want to see more like it.

An Aspect of Rape

Soapbox

 I didn't have any content to speak on today's prompt, so instead I thought I'd share a post I saw on tumblr by user today-is-joy on stereotyping women's sexualities. Enjoy!

"There is truth to stereotypes, but this does not mean that somebody should feel pressured to follow one because it’s what society says they should do. A christian gay does not have to become agnostic. A femme does not have to become butch just to be seen as a lesbian (an issue known as Femme Invisibility). A masculine straight girl should not have to prove that she is straight by becoming feminine!
Stereotypes are not a tool for you to find out somebody’s sexuality or gender identity."

A Nice Pat on the Shoulder

One of the best comments I have ever received is from my blogging buddy, Renae, over at The Paranormalist. She had replied to one of my whiny posts with an outside perspective that really affected my attitude moving forward.

"I've been thinking about this kind of thing a lot lately. I'm fine physically. Most of the time. (This pre-menopause thing is kicking my ass.) Mentally, though, I've had too much stress lately to function well. (That's money stuff, and taking in the extra kid.) My point - and I do have one is I was driving myself crazy because I WANTED to write / work on fiction but I just couldn't. (As much as I hate the term writer's block, I've got it.) SO I decided to get healthier. (Because I don't have to be creative to eat more fruit or exercise, you know?)

I'm wondering if there's some quest you can put yourself on that will alleviate your restlessness and energy. Something not physical for you. 'Ever wanted to, I don't know, read everything Jane Austin wrote? Take an online class about archaeology? (I know of a free one.) Learn Latin? Something with clear-cut, check-off-able steps or stages. Something you've always wanted to do but would never have the time in your normal life.

Anyway, I love the sad cat pics."

Just imagine a reaaaally long broom

It always impresses me how we can be so far apart, leading such different lives, and she always seems to understand things. Once again, the beauty of the internet.

HBO's Girls and OCD

My Coz referred me to this show after the third season closed out. She wanted someone to chat with about it, and figured I'd relate to the characters like she did.
I had already heard whispers of their episode about OCD, but never felt compelled to watch it. Haha, see I made a funny there.

This episode messed me up. As soon as Hannah's character hurt herself with the q-tip, I knew exactly how it would end, and I cried for her. For those who haven't seen it, she has a compulsion for "balance," so after returning from the hospital for cutting her eardrum, she uses the same q-tip on the other ear.

OCD, and related disorders, are often centered on and triggered by stress. It's an anxiety issue, which means lots of worry, lots of fear, lots of irrational feelings.

Not every case is centered on numbers or an obsession with clean hands. Sure, that plays out better on screen because it's quirky and kind of cute, but for that person I guarantee it is not. Unfortunately even my beloved Scrubs is guilty of this, although they attempt to redeem themselves at the end of their OCD feature.

 

As gritty and painfully awkward as the rest of this show may be, this episode really hit the nail on the head. For a more detailed explanation on the disorder, this blog handles the episode's accuracy quite well.

Orange is the New Black

This show never stops being funny and depressing at the same time.

I just binge watched the two seasons available last night, and let me just say, it was a titty-palooza. I would guess this could be to draw in male viewers, since this show is so woman-centric. It could also be due to the lesbian protagonists, but with today's media, selling sex to men trumps empowering lesbians.

If graphic sex scenes make you uncomfortable, you will not enjoy this show. I was constantly teetering on the edge of quitting early throughout both seasons. It's not that it's lesbian action; I just really get weirded out by camera-involved sex. I don't want to feel like I've tuned into a porn in the middle of my entertainment. Admittedly, it's a testament to this show's commitment to portraying prison life. I imagine a lot of the sex that happens behind bars is more physically motivated than intimate, if not completely non-consensual.

With that said, I love everything else about this show, and it was worth the occasional discomfort to experience the very touching stories.

There's a continuing trend among many of the inmates in which they reveal how they became incarcerated with flashbacks often painting themselves as equal victims in their own crimes. I took this in as another commonplace attitude in prison; a lack of personal responsibility.

Among some humor-filled interactions and terrifying violence is a very real feeling of sadness. Many of these women are motivated by their emptiness, inside and out, and the portrayal of their struggles, failures, and sometimes redemption is definitely  palpable source for sympathy.

I laughed, I cried, and even yelled sometimes. Their writers make for an engaging experience, and I can't wait until season three.