The Blur

Why is this here?

The stretch between our arrival and the actual funeral was a lengthy blur. I'm the kind of person who, under stress, will just steamroll through everything if there is something to be done, which includes not sleeping if need be. This combo is probably why everything mushes together, since it basically doesn't have a start and stop point.

On top of funeral preparations, a chunk of which was already booked by an aunt (whom I haven't thanked enough),  the Nana's dogs needed extra attention. All three of those silky little darlings were perceptive enough to know something was up, and started acting out when they picked up on the Nana's absence.
One pup spent most of her time under the couch, as the end seat was the Nana's spot. She and I both got pretty defensive about anyone sitting there for a few weeks. I know it's irrational, but I didn't really have a transition from the last visit to this, so a large part of my mind was still bent on the idea that any minute the Nana was coming out from the back and would need her spot to sit.

The only boy dog clung to Husband as he always does since they're boy buddies. He seemed to be the least affected by the change, since his little puppy world seems to center on living life like the gate's left open.

The oldest pup, whom I have nicknamed Grumbles, bounced between hating my guts for being the harbinger of death and deciding we needed to snuggle because I am also the keeper of the snuggles. Maybe I'm both, who knows. It was keeping everyone entertained though, watching her little attitude switch arbitrarily.

In and among the semi-controlled chaos, I was being put more and more in charge of things. I was making floral selections, finding religious items, and meeting with everyone else involved to handle whatever else needed to be done. On the one hand, this was great because I love being busy - okay and bossy - but on the other hand it meant I was dealing with a lot of people in a business setting. In the face of having many a meeting, it occurred to me that I had only packed comfort wear for my solo tour (read: lounge wear), minus the lucky handful of sweaters I had bought with my sister up north. I managed to make my limited wardrobe work for me, as well as the washing machine, but I would still need something semi-formal for the funeral that was in only a couple more days.

Husband had left his suit in Louisiana after the last funeral, so that lucky bastard was all set. A small panic set in as the reality of the situation hit me. I am a strange shaped lady, and typically need to special order, shop around a lot, and/or get my dresses tailored, all of which takes entirely too much time. With as much as I had on my plate, and accepting there just wasn't time, I decided I should just buck up and hit their mall for something, anything black that would suit the formality of the situation, even if it wasn't super flattering. And then a miracle happened.

 This may go down as an urban legend some day, but I swear to you on my favorite kitten heels what I am about to tell you is exactly what happened. I went into JCPenney's that weekend, and bee-lined for the formal wear, with pretty much no hope of finding anything, but figuring it was a starting point. I kid not, literally the first dress I grabbed was not only my size, but as you can see above, fit perfectly. This on its own was miraculous, but then I get to checkout to find there's a purchase coupon for like $10 dollars off $50. This dress I grabbed was tagged for $120, and I was willing to beat my inner cheapskate into submission since it was so perfect and now I had a coupon, but this fucking dress rang up as $40!! I teared up a little, and the cashier thought it was frustration, which in retrospect was pretty freakin adorable. She offered to hold onto the dress if I wanted to shop around a bit to bring my total up and basically get free stuff with that discount, so of course I did. I had set aside two hours to hurry up and find something, and had gotten this dress in fifteen minutes, so I had time now. I ended up finding some BOGO items for Husband, and left the store practically skipping with joy.

All in all, the blur was a good day.