More Embarrassing Than Scandalous

What does the word "scandal" evoke in you?

I picture the Bill Clinton affair, episodes of Mad Men, and basically anything that would constitute juicy gossip among cackling hens. Your typical social norms being violated by relationships of a questionable nature; that's scandal to me. The actual definition is broader than that, and actually really vague, which made it hard to dredge up a story on the subject. 

It took until today for me to realize I was inadvertently in the midst of scandal once, and could have avoided the situation altogether if I had taken one second to step back and question someone's motives. 

If you're one of those people that feels the pain of characters in naive, embarrassing situations, this post is gonna cause you some considerable pain.

I'm gonna gloss over/change some details of this story mostly to protect the other people involved, because I'd hate to embarrass them or make them think I'm calling them out or something. 

I was a teenager, working part time at night while going to school. At this point in my life, sex and relationships in general were relatively new frontiers. I had maybe two serious boyfriends at this point, and had only recently made my "sexual debut." 

The extent of my knowledge was, 1) guys objectified me for my boobs, 2) I wasn't sure I liked the attention, 3) kissing was exciting and made me feel tingly, and 4) yeah sex was nice, but what's the big fucking deal?!?! Take a moment to giggle with me at that last one. Basically, I didn't know squat about anything.

Having grown up in a culture of constant flirtation and flattery, it didn't phase me one bit when my more matured, generally married, coworkers would compliment or tease me about my smile and hair and whatnot. I never took it too seriously, since they didn't either.  it was always just a game that kept us all chipper through the late shift, laughing at each other testing out cheesy pick up lines and my quick wit. 

Until it wasn't a joke anymore. 

It's all fun and games until a guy asks you out for coffee after work and an idiot teenage girl really thinks it's to discuss a mutual interest in higher education. Yes, I was this stupid once. There are not enough gifs in the internet to properly purvey how far in over my head I was. 

To make an already long story less long - he made a move, I bolted. I texted him trying to apologize for my behavior. 

Yeah. 

His wife saw it, figured it was me coming on to him, and read me the riot act. I was so damn confused, I don't even remember how it was resolved between them, but I do know we put in papers with management to never be scheduled together, ever. Boss asked me if I wanted to file a report, and I seriously had no clue why I should have done that. 

And that was the last time Anna was ever that naive about the opposite sex, the end.